#for me it was just ok with some really good and interesting bits weaved in

[dayurno]

cousin dayurno…. thots on tsc. i remember you mentioning before it came out that you weren’t super excited about it/might not read it for a while. im curious now if you think it’s worth getting into sooner rather than later! as someone who keeps forgetting to start it i must know the opinion of the council

cousin dayurno............... hi! well okay so. going into tsc i didn't have many expectations besides maybe seeing kevin at some point, and getting told an interesting story. i was not disappointed in the kevin front nor whenever the foxes were concerned: i think nora sakavic's grasp on them is as strong as ever and the few that showed up (kevin, renee, neil) were capable of carrying any story no matter what. jean spends a good chunk of the book in palmetto and you can tell it's nora's strongest suit as a writer; it's the most interesting part of the book and the character work is, as expected, very well thought out. i couldn't stop reading for the entire period of jean's stay with the foxes.

i will say the book kind of fell flat for me after jean left palmetto. half of it is because jean sucks the life out of basically any of the trojans character-wise; the foxes were able to compete with him because they are well established characters with complex backstories who already feel real to the reader, whereas the trojans (bar lucas, who is a highlight if there was ever one), while lovely, aren't really much of characters at all. i think nora sakavic likes to write a very specific kind of story, and in that niche she is fabulous, but she stumbles when she has to make simpler stories interesting. she is a high-stakes writer writing a very low-stakes story, and in tsc you can tell.

jeremy was supposed to be the main character along with jean, but in his very few chapters, not much about him is learned; from the moment he is in a room with jean, jeremy's whole character starts to revolve around him. yes, you can say this is jeremy repressing even in his own mind, and maybe that's true where it concerns his backstory, but that's not all there is to a character. even if jeremy's backstory wasn't going to be discussed, there's effectively nothing else about him: we know that he's rich, that he's gay, and that's it. no particular quirks nor non-trojan related interests. the only discernable character trait i can put out about jeremy is that he is very pushy, and i don't think that's what nora intended for him. he was a breath of fresh air in his first chapters, but what little personality he shows is immediately mowed down by being on 'taking care of jean' mode 24/7. i thought he could use more personality, and overall more scenes away from jean (and even laila and cat) to establish himself as a character

you have not yet read it so i will not spoil you the reason, but i felt that neil's appearance later down the line was the highlight of the book because it made the story feel interesting again. neil steals the show because he's neil, and he's more interesting than all of the trojans combined. he also makes them all look worse by comparison: we see personality and chemistry and history and that is something that the trojans just don't have. they're lovely, but that's all there is to it. jeremy and the trojans feel more like tools to achieve jean's happiness than actual characters, and that's a bit of the upperclassmen curse in aftg, but in a book that's so specifically centered around jean's inner world and his healing trajectory, they feel flat and out of place by contrast. they can't win. they can't even compete. but if they could, catalina and laila would get the closest to being real characters

this got away from me so tl;dr: tsc is fine! it's not tfc, and i think the contrast might feel surprising and hard to adjust to, especially when it comes to character work. it has all of nora's trademark writing with none of the groundwork there was for tfc, and it would have benefitted a lot from staying in the drafts for a little longer. it's an ok book! it didn't change my life nor did it save anyone, but it was there, and it did what it said it was going to do. if i saw it on ao3 i probably wouldn't read it, but i wouldn't hate on it either

[wizzycore]

ok. this is my OFFICIAL wallaru copepost. i am a hater and this is going to be me hating specifically on the storyline of wallaru. if u dont liek that dont read XDXDXD -- MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD (also, this is a long as fuck post. so im putting it under a read below

Anyway .

ok so. my biggest gripe with this world is that plain and simple it just disappointed me. here are a good couple of reasons why:

1) events that didn't make sense... or perhaps absence of

ok, i'm starting out relatively weak in my reasoning and going toward stronger rationale as we go along. bear with me here. one of the most irksome things i found was events that didn't make sense, or the failure to create events that would follow up with previously established stakes.

let's recall where we're at by the end of novus:

dasein has forsaken everything, having seen the settlers on novus as the broad strokes of the entire universe - no more everything for him. meanwhile, the novus governors have sworn vengeance upon yourself as well as dasein.

(cont below)

but throughout wallaru we get very little peeps of either problem-- dasein is off fighting his own battles stuck in sap in the dreaming, and sure, the governors send some like... spiders.... to fight you, but it's never a substantial threat -- and they never really continue to escalate.... they just fade into the background until directly the end. (hell, dasein fades out too as the kroaker becomes a bigger threat.)

it feels like what should be our biggest priority going into wallaru is the continuation of the novus plot - be it through dasein or through the governors. but we're left basically floundering on that point until the Very Last Area(s) -- when there was plenty of space throughout the world to weave in information about what's going on there. they TRIED to weave in dasein information - but ultimately were so cryptic with it that it had no payoff and indicated basically nothing to us.

1.5) massive pov problems

I realized this is a continuation of my last point - so I'm putting it as a .5. When I say pov problems, I more mean "subject of focus" - wallaru had a bit many subjects of focus this time around for my taste, and certainly didn't pay appropriate attention to any of them.

dasein (existential struggle), the governors (colonial/power struggle), the 3(or 4) main wallaru groups (townies,drovers,kids,+dingos), sandiago(?), & the old one (past colonial/power struggle), joan&cane, judge veg, freddie kroaker, sybil, on and on and on.

you get my point, right? way too many hands in the same few bowls - all competing for attention, screen-time, characterization, and importance.

usually i've seen the golden rule for good characterization in wiz worlds as using characters at gateways. let's take novus for example.

copyqat/fuzhi - established as a strong character in her own right, (though is also a continuing character), who provides a gateway into catmandu npcs. you are compelled to learn more about catmandu through her (&later moo bu) strong foundations of interest - she becomes a companion, along with moo bu.

moo bu - also established as a strong character provides a gateway into the stone of heaven & the first leg villain, tung-ak. you want to learn more about the villain because he is the key to moo bu's character arc closure - not necessarily even because he's excessively interesting in his own right.

and tung ak passes the torch to dasein-as-novus! who becomes the grounding gateway for much of the rest of the world. it is compelling to investigate novus because he is it - and it is him - and he is such a strong (and priorly fantastically established) companion and plot device that he makes even the least tolerable of jokes semi-tolerable. and there are a lot of stakes to ending his suffering / opening his psyche back up to continue to talk to him. the moments with dasein in the gallery were a perfect example of weaving a fragmented dasein CORRECTLY into a world.

briefly we have that lil nonbinary dog person to carry us through the dog area even! & entwine them into dasein-as-novus motivation interests!

novus had a GREAT flow of attention and supplied a lot of motivation for a player to continue (thru emotional attachments to npcs and dasein) as well as a very sensical reason perhaps a wizard oc might continue as well.

wallaru however, much like karamelle, failed to supply a consistently meaningful companion baton toss while also introducing way too many one off characters w/o a meaningful connection to main npcs or companions .... leading to a very convoluted and confusing plot experience.

our primary&first companion, sandiago, theoretically has the motivating factor of a mystery - who is he, why is he /was he in wallaru, etc..... but because his involvement with the old one is introduced too late in the world, there's no clear connection to existing themes within his character - and therefore, very little drive to learn his mystery in comparison to other characters. he acts as an opinion device and a concealer of information, which is merely frustrating when he isn't a well established companion.

then: for a little while it's that acting gator guy? who is funny i guess, but not a grounding or continual companion - he's a one-off joke character we drag about for a while.

same with all the judges - they're mostly samey people.

essentially for the bulk of the middle of wallaru's plot, we're stuck playing sidekick to various wallaru npcs we don't already know in order to be immersed in their world (a very tourist-y perspective even once the overt tourism wears off).....wasting time that could be spent learning about sandiago (or god forbid, dasein&the governors.)

the intermittent time spent with dasein in the dreaming is great, don't get me wrong, the irks-as-emotions is a great explanation device and actually led to some of the least annoying exposition in the world -- but he's not much of a companion this world.... because other than "vaguely stuck in the dreaming" - we don't know where he is, how to get him, or WHAT HE'S GOING THROUGH. HOW HE CHANGES FROM THE END OF NOVUS TO WHEN WE MEET HIM FORMALLY AT THE END OF WALLARU IS ENTIRELY UNCLEAR (because it's told largely from sybil's perspective, who is just as cryptic as sandiago if not worse).

i consider joan locke & judge veg some of the stronger companions of the world, w/ judge veg having GREAT prior establishment and characterization and joan locke being a decent theme character. but they can't save what's already a train wreck - judge veg can only weakly 'introduce' freddie kroaker - mostly because we already know full well who he is.

what we needed from this world was the same tight plot we recieved from lemuria&novus - characters who scaffold the world and themes, rather than flounder and drown within them.

and we also needed tighter focus in general - to the same themes novus&lemuria were about (power, colonialism, *old one manipulation*, etc) and to a few concrete, reliable and lovable companions/minor antagonists. (if it were me, i'd go santiago -> judge veg/morb -> any novus character with dasein information weaved more strongly throughout... and leave sybil&the old one to fill out between santiago, dasein&morb. but alas).

2) events that didn't provide any meaningful payoff or further the story in any way

here's a running list:

-dasein's suffering in the dreaming (we don't see an arc from him, just senseless suffering & constant prodding from sybil to produce a realization we don't see)

-the huntsmen spiders (empty threat / annoyance, no real information about novus gleaned and especially not about the governors plan for novus)

-the entire fake walkabout tourist area (enforces the surface themes of wallarus tourist problem, but could've been resolved a little faster and gotten more done in the meantime)

-honestly? most of anything the furryosa crowd was involved in. maybe i'm just a dedicated hater but i feel like their agitation could be completely removed from the plot and it wouldn't have affected much, especially if the dingo family took the stage as the main third force as oppressed colonizer ?

-sadly some of the old one historical information. it felt... too spotty, inconsistent, or too late delivery of information to matter. which sucks and is the exact same way i felt abt karamelle's t.o.o information

3) MASSIVE amounts of exposition in inappropriate places

all dasein sequences pretty much struggled with massive exposition problems. exposition is great in wiz, it can feel earned, but because most of the world was spent in ignorance and suspense (so to speak), the massive worddump about the dreaming and dream water and the reverie and the dreamer and dasein..... feel unearned and almost annoying.... and that's coming from somebody who eats up lore with a spoon.

sandiago also did a fuck ton of it - which is fine, that's what he does, but he did it in big short bursts rather than slowly throughout. which did suck.

constant constant constant exposition about wallaru's political landscape and an npc's place in it. really really obnoxious after a certain point especially when the writers overtly showed pro-tourist/settler bias while arguing an ambiguously pro-indigenous point.

a resolution that didn't feel earned

see above: im still absolutely stunned.... the exposition and then a sudden truce..... felt so weird.

4) story felt secondary to gameplay/visuals (which is fine, BUT...)

but in an arc like arc 4, where story&visuals feed into each other very well, and where visuals were at times sacrificed (at least in effort put in - work smarter not harder) in order to serve story development -- seeing the opposite in wallaru was unnerving. it was gorgeous, yes. absolutely. i was fascinated by the architecture, the landscapes, the character models, the lighting&colors, the spells. it was all fantastic. but it felt like a distraction from a confusing plot... or rather an excuse for a confusing plot. not to mention, wallaru itself seemed a subject of focus (see above bulletpoint) throughout, but not in a thematically interesting way - wallaru is inert, subject to the whims of magic and politics, all while sitting very pretty and consumable for the viewer... and it is a non-diegetic as well as diegetic consumption. it's a rather odd turn from novus, in which we are carefully informed that the world matters too, yknow. (even if it isnt directly sentient.) in novus, when we stare at beautiful architecture, it was beautiful and served a very good thematic or characterizing purpose -- in wallaru, it seemed more an exercise of pushing the boundaries of scenic and character art. (which - again - is fine. i like it. but with a weak plot it just makes me sad.) -- not to mention, story seemed molded around cool battles and cutscenes rather than the other way around at certain times, especially toward the end battles. the only time this really felt excusable to me was during the lead-up quest to malus, mostly because there was a self-awareness involved that i did respect a bit.

very annoying characters, too many throwaways

furryosa, freddy kroaker, many random judges my beloathed. 0 meaningful characterization despite taking up so much goddamn screentime. fuck off forever

5) long running puns and jokes that sucked

again, furryosa&freddy kroaker - the nightmare on elm street joke was fun until it got dragged through the entire plot and also got misused to be pretend creepy. that's not what these damn jokes should do. same with mad max - it ACTIVELY inhibited furryosa's character from going anywhere to be a mad max archetype.

straight up continual racism toward indigenous ppl (in australia and elsewhere?). (known going in - somehow worse than imagined.)

i could make an entire whole post about this. the terms dreaming and walkabout being thrown around either as wizard101 lore terms (sitting on the same infamous shelf as 'cabal' i reckon, for being both technically important but very embarrassing and racist) or as a basically meaningless word for 'journey' dressed up to sound more """drover-y""".

the feeling that this story got drafted much like a spell circle that you run out of space for at the end.

all the exposition, realization, and heavy hitters got saved for the end, and happened so fast my head spun. they were all regarded with the same importance when some really did not have the same importance. (joan locke's reproduction of harmful power structures was not nearly as important as why the old one was even mentioned in relation to wallaru in the first place.....)

TLDR: come on, man. novus had some big shoes to fill, but wallaru was an offbrand novus shoved through the lens of curious tourists just begging for some 'nuance' . could've used a couple more cuts, tighten-ups, killing of darlings, ceasing of jokes, etc.

but malus was cool as fuck and well executed, and so i guess the team put their whole pussy into that and said oh well, theres a hot prime minister in wallaru and also dasein is there.

[starpotionz]

Subway stops

Rise! Donnie x Gender Neutral! Reader

IM BACK BITCHES! Sorry it took so long, life got crazy man. But I’m at college now so yippee! And I finally present you with my long awaited Donatello one shot subway stops

Enjoy!

The first time you ever met Donatello was precisely 8 years and 6 months ago. A very specific amount of time, but since that first moment where small tear filled eyes meet the gaze of wide shocked ones you’ve counted the days between each meeting you inevitably have with the purple terrapin. Especially after you two became romantically intertwined, but I digress.

You met him when you were 6. One of your front teeth had fallen out earlier that morning so your cheery mood couldn’t even begin to be dampened. Clutching tightly onto your mother’s hand, your tiny feet stumbled across the concrete floors of the New York Subway station. She had just retrieved you from your mandatory after school extracurricular activity and wanted to get the both you home as soon as possible. It was Dad’s turn to make dinner that night. You remembered him mentioning it that morning before your mother took you to school.

Your father’s cooking by all means wasn’t perfect, but he was definitely the better cook out of your parents. Your mother’s stride quickened as she weaved through the thick crowd of New Yorkers.

In the corner of your eye you saw an old poster for the 5th Lou Jitsu movie on the wall. Your interest was immediately peaked and you slowed down your jog to stare at it longer. You stood there admiring the poster as your mother’s grip slipped and she continued through the crowd without you.

It was a few moments of uninterrupted admiring went bye till you reached to squeeze your mother’s hand but it wasn’t there. She was gone and you were left all alone.

All

Alone ……

Shocked to your core, you numbly glance back at the Lou Jitsu poster hoping it’ll bring you comfort.

Someone shoved into you as they were heading towards their own destination and the impact brown your resolve. You started bawling and ran towards the least crowded area you could see with your blurry vision.

Everything was caving in on you, ringing all around. There was no way out. No salvation. No mom to comfort you.

No one

No way out

NO

WAY

OUT

“Um.. A-are you ok?” A small voice inquired. You shoved you face farther into your arms. During your panic you had fallen and closed in upon yourself for some semblance of comfort.

“ ‘mn not ok. I’m lost and I don’t have my mommy a-and someone shoved me and I-I-I” you could barely get out a full sentence before the tears came out like a flood.

This startled the other child and he sat down next to you rocking back and forth. “I’m not the best at comforting others, but I promised my brothers I’d try so uh don’t cry…..please.”

You glanced up from your arms and sniffed “…..you really aren’t good at comforting”

“HEY! AT LEAST IM TRYING! Empathy isn’t really my thing” he snapped. Looking at his face you realized he was a turtle… or well a turtle who looked human. Or was he a Herman looking turtle-ANYWAY back to the turtle boy thing.

“Well..” you pondered “what is your thing Mr. Turtle” Your lips upturned a bit at his frustration, he may not be good at comforting but he was really funny to talk too that’s for sure.

“I’m glad you asked peasant for I am the greatest GENUIS SCIENTIST, DONATELLO! You can applaud now. Go ahead.” He boasted as he waved his three fingered hand at you, urging you to clap.

You snickered as a laugh bubbled from your chest, “Oh yea? Great and powerful scientist Donatello. What science do you do?”

“I invent things obviously” he rolled his eyes. Donatello’s face went blank for a moment, his eyes focused ahead as he mulled over a thought. He looked back at you and thought once more before speaking again.

“You can call me Donnie, not even my dad calls me Donatello.” He fiddled with his fingers “-WAIT! you never told me your name”

“My name? Oh uh-“ you uttered your name to Donnie and he nodded as he repeated it.

“Well now that we are properly acquainted-“

Donnie stopped his sentence as both of you hear your name being frantically yelled. The woman sounded heartbroken and desperate to find you. Wait, you knew who that was.

“MOMMA!” you jumped up as you faced her direction. You couldn’t see her from where you were but she was here. She had really came.

“Is that your mom?” Donnie asked. His words startled you as you quickly turned around to face him.

“Yea it is” Your tone got quieter, but an idea popped into you head and you jumped up startling the port turtle, “ Hey, let’s be friends ok? I think your funny so um meet me here tomorrow ok?” You proposed with stars in your eyes.

“Oh uh yea ok.” Donnie nodded, taking over your proposition, “Yea I’ll see you tomorrow right here”

“Right here!” You smiled at him and grabbed his hands to swing around with your own. Your mother cried your name and you yelled back to her that your coming.

You took one last look at Donnie before you let his hands go and went back to your mother’s waiting arms. As you were walking , you turned around to walk backwards and yelled “TOMMOROW!”

Donnie gave a small smile and cupped his hands over his mouth to yell back “TOMORROW!”

He waved as you turned back around rushing towards your frantic mother. Yeah Donnie was definitely looking forward to tomorrow. After all, he had his own special friend to hang out with and show how cool he was.

Tomorrow was gonna be amazing.

It took me two years BUT ITS DONE HAHAHAHAH also Imma change my name cause I’m not felling my old one anymore. As always Thxs for reading and Cowabunga

[blackjackkent]

Into the sewers, which have definitely seen better days.

In keeping with the rather animalistic side of Rakha's nature as represented by the Urge, I tend to think that she has pretty sensitive hearing and smell. (Her perception isn't high numerically, so I don't think she picks up on a lot of specifics, but she does get very strong overall impressions. So a place like this, which definitely smells awful, is pretty unpleasant.)

So she's not really in a good mood. Luckily, it's not a long walk to the entrance to the Guildhall.

It is a little amusing to me that this door is marked as forbidden, when you can (as I learned with Hector) pick it and open it with nobody seeming to care, and ALSO (as I learned just now with Rakha) smash it down, and nobody seems to care about that either.

There are definitely other entrances to this area elsewhere in the Lower City, as well, but taking the nearest manhole seems like the most logical option since this is Rakha's top priority at present.

I think Rakha finds the Guildhall a little bit of a relief. It's quieter than the city above - less noise, fewer people, and consequently less simultaneous murder urges for her to fight down. It also smells much better than the sewers. So she decides to take a little bit of a wander around, since no one seems to have an immediate problem with her presence.

There's a lot of brief conversations to be had here and most of them aren't tremendously interesting. There are, however, a few things of interest to Rakha, as well as a few conversations I don't remember encountering previously.

We'll start with this one. Rakha has drifted over to the corner where a bard is playing, watching the swirling Weave around the melodies, when this woman speaks up unprovoked from nearby:

"Eyes off the barkeep, new blood. He and I, we're a thing. Were a thing. Will *be* a thing again."

Rakha has already met the barkeep in question - a bugbear, who seemed decently friendly but not anything to write home about. She isn't entirely sure what the woman means by a thing, and answers cautiously and noncommittally in the hopes of getting more information. "Why aren't you... a thing... right now?"

"We're just... taking a breather," the woman says forlornly. "A short one. Only... I don't know why he broke things off. He said he had to - that Nine-Fingers forbade our love - but... well, I'm fairly certain she doesn't know I exist."

She looks up at Rakha hopefully. "Perhaps... he'll open up to you? He's such a soft heart, really connects with his customers! You'll see!" A pause, and then her eyes narrow suspiciously. "But NO funny business!"

Rakha has to take a moment to parse this. She means a romantic relationship - with the bugbear. And she's asking for help to re-establish it.

Hard to say exactly why Rakha agrees. Perhaps it's mere whim. Perhaps Wyll finds the whole thing romantic and encourages her to support it. Perhaps, deep down, she has a certain sympathy for people in love with those the world would call monsters.

Anyway she goes back over to the bar. The bartender's answer is, unfortunately, decidedly unromantic:

"What's going on between you and Cheeky Nora? She seems rather... eager."

"Gah. Nora's what you call an M-F. The M stands for Monster. Let's just say I ain't that type."

OK. First of all - valid. No one wants to feel like they're being fetishized. Second of all - Rakha is now irritated, because she now feels like she looks like a bit of an idiot.

(And, perhaps, deep down, the part of her that briefly saw something of herself in this little moment is rather disheartened.)

-----

"Are you an M-F, then?" she asks Wyll bluntly as they trudge back across the hall.

Wyll starts. "Am I-- excuse me?"

A pause. "Some would call me a monster."

Wyll frowns. "Oh. No-- no, no, no. No. Definitely not." A slight pause. "I love you."

He lowers his voice a little, not wanting to hear Minthara's commentary from behind him - but to his relief, Jaheira (who grew well-practiced at redirecting Minsc during tender moments between Caden and Aerie) has caught the tone of the conversation and drawn the drow back out of earshot.

Rakha is quiet for a little while. The two of them have not really used the word love very often; it feels too big and overwhelming to her, really, and she herself has not said it at all yet, even though she knows she feels it. But Wyll has, and he always sounds sincere.

"Because you're you," he goes on earnestly. "All of you, not just one part, whatever that part might be." He smiles a little. "Or did you think I was simply out looking for the only Bhaalspawn in the world and happened to get lucky?"

She relaxes slowly - not having even realized she was beginning to tense up. "Ah. No. Of course not," she says, but there's relief in her voice to hear it anyway.

-----

"Have you spoken to Severn yet?" the woman asks eagerly as Rakha approaches again.

"I have. You two aren't meant to be," Rakha says shortly.

"But... what do you mean?! He didn't *say* that!" the woman wails, agitated.

(A/N: Okay. Listen. Hear me out. Rakha doesn't have MUCH of a sense of humor, nor does she usually take deception checks. However, she's irritated at this woman now because of how this set of conversations has played out, and none of the other options are particularly Rakha-ish either, and I am only human and think this is hilarious.)

Rakha looks her straight in the eyes. [DECEPTION] "It's me," she says, in the flattest deadpan in Faerun. "Severn and I are in love."

At her side, Wyll makes a sudden inarticulate choking noise. Jaheira snickers. Even Minthara cracks a faint smile.

Somehow, the woman apparently takes this as a sincere statement of fact, because her eyes go wide and she flares with sudden righteous anger.

"You back-stabbing minx!" She glares daggers at Rakha. "I suppose you want to fight now, heh? Bathe in one another's blood in Severn's name?"

She doesn't realize how dangerous this particular set of words are, because the beast in Rakha's head would, indeed, like that very much, and she starts getting a very uncomfortable smile on her face.

(A/N: On anyone else this would absolutely be considered a shit-eating grin, and independent of context it's actually the nicest smile I've ever seen on Rakha's face. But in this context, there's no way it's not the beast getting revved up for a kill.)

And perhaps it's that smile, or the general air of sudden danger emanating from Rakha's whole body, but the woman immediately changes tacks and backpedals a few steps.

"Perhaps for someone else, I would!" she goes on haughtily. "But my love for Severn is pure. Unsullied by violence." Then, perhaps feeling that this is not enough to keep Rakha from following her, she digs hastily in her pocket. "Here. I was saving this, to woo him. But it doesn't matter now, does it?"

She backs up another few steps, then manages another irritated glare as she departs. "He can't see a good thing when he has it!"

And with this parting shot she disappears into the hall's lower levels.

(A/N: The ring in question is 18-gold trash loot. I'm giving it to Jaheira to keep in her pack because its description mentions that it's Calishite in origin and I'm a rank sentimentalist. :P )

[thundercrack]

ok joining the club... February reading report! I'm mostly just mouthing off... Read at your own risk!

Dune by Frank Herbert

The Friend by Sigrid Nunez

Look, I'm a sucker for a classic. I'd been vaguely meaning to read this since I saw the Timmy Chalemet movie...and I generally have a tolerance for fairly long scifi/fantasy. I enjoyed the first maybe third of this book...and then I got bored (needless to say I will not be reading the next four Dune books although I did finish). Don't get me wrong -- I'm glad I read it. In many ways, Dune still culturally relevant, both within the world of genre fiction, and (especially because of the new film) in debates about orientalism, the Cold War, humanity, etc, etc. I found Herbert's explorations on this future version of Islam and future version of Arabic pretty interesting, but by the end of the book, I was really annoyed by the main character. There's a lot of really interesting discussion and criticism around this book, so I'm glad to be able to understand a little more of those conversations as well. Also, now I retrospectively sort of know what was happening in the movie!

I was too young to read this book. It was good; it was not for me. Revisit in thirty-five years.

Utopia Avenue by David Mitchell

Lincoln In The Bardo by George Saunders

Why did I read this? I've never read any other David Mitchell. This book was an exercise in 1960s musical fantasy, where nothing goes wrong and the truest joy is from celebrity encounters, powered by the author's love for the era, rather than having anything to say. This was a book about a rock band going straight to the top, without any real interrogation into the cultural forces and pitfalls of the 1960s, weak characterization, random tie-ins with his larger universe, and next to no tension. I'll probably still read Cloud Atlas at some point, but this one is a hard pass.

This was one of my old roommates favorite books that I gave another go after DNFing in maybe, 2018? Again, I think this might be a book I'd like more if I were older. I thought the structure and format was well-done (I especially liked the history excerpts, of course); the story itself, I was maybe luke-warm on. I thought the prose was good (especially the dialogue) and the characters were interesting. I'm not entirely sure what's making me luke-warm on it, but I liked it enough to be glad I read it.

Human Acts by Han Kang (trans. Deborah Smith)

This was the best book I read this month, hands down. Maybe this year as well. Kang masterfully weaves together a number of stories around the Gwangju massacre of pro-democracy demonstrators. This book was at times, extremely brutal to read (and I would say I have a fairly high tolerance in text). It was clearly well-researched, well-lived, and well-considered. The topics it tackled were both grains of sand and the meaning of humanity itself. I really, really, enjoyed this book; I highly recommend it, and I definitely look forward to reading The Vegetarian in the future. Bonus reading: Han Kang and the Complexity of Translation

All The President's Men by Woodward and Bernstein

I constantly get this one mixed up with All The Kings Men by Robert Penn Warren (also good). One of my college friends had just read this and sent me a number of random updates throughout their reading, mostly focused on Woodward and Bernstein's....tense relationship. Like most Americans, I've been vaguely aware of Watergate my whole life (I even saw that movie The Post!), and I think this book really did a good job laying out the reveal of the story as well as sort of the in-house tensions that were going on. My copy (from the library) was the original 1974 edition, and I sort of wish that I had a more recent version with a little bit more distance on the events, but it's kind of fun to have been "right in there." I generally do like this style of expanded-reportage book (see Ronan Farrow's books, or in another genre, Jon Krakauer), and Watergate still looms so large in the American political imagination, so I'm glad I read this one too.

Beyond Babylon by Igiaba Scego (trans. Aaron Robertson)

This is a book I would have really liked to enjoy. I didn't. I kept saying to myself -- well, maybe it's just the translation that didn't work for me (the whole book was a bit clunky to read). There are a lot of really interesting themes in this novel (fluid identity, colonization, language, coincidence, politics, choice and nature, etc), interesting characters, play with language, a sweep of history that could have been fascinating. However, in practice, it didn't work for me. The different storylines sometimes were confusing, the plot at times eluding me, seemingly unnecessary tangents taking me nowhere. It was a slow read. There was just a lot here (and maybe it's just through my background that I was missing pieces)...and none of it quite fit together.

Murder by the Book by Claire Harman

Totally random book I picked up at the library. It's not really a topic or like...an era (the metropolitan center of Victorian Britain??) that I care about, but I was like, hey, cool cover, I want an easy read this week, etc. I thought it was well written and well researched, and I definitely learned some stuff about the literary scene of the era. It was also amusing how some of the debates around "base literature" are...pretty much the same today as they were in the 1830s.

Beasts of a Little Land by Juhea Kim

Look, you ever read a book and you can just tell it was written by a Harvard/Yale/Princeton grad? Well, this was one. This book was extremely readable. It's got decent characters who are fairly easy to get invested in and a structure that pulls you through the text, all while set across a complex, divided, and rapidly changing backdrop of early 20th-c Korea. However, the narrative itself rung flat, and the book's promised complexity disappeared before I got through the second chapter -- it's almost a completely sanitized view of two very complex worlds: that of high-class courtesans, and that of orphans/gangs who become politically involved. Narratively things go wrong, but it's almost never because the characters make bad decisions -- except perhaps in love -- which collapses the once-promising characters. Also, it jumps from 1945 to 1964 at the end...not very successfully (the opening/closing of the book was extremely trite and not terribly well-done). This book was almost disappointing because it promised more than it could deliver, falling straight into the chasm of mediocre novels by diverse graduates of elite institutions. I didn't do it any favors by reading it so soon after Human Acts either, although they're very different novels.

The Thousand Crimes of Ming by Tsu Tom Lin

The advertising around this book does it poorly (do not go in expecting anything Cormac McCarthy-like LOL). Don't get me wrong, I liked this book -- I do enjoy a modern Western and I think Lin does a great job highlighting the role of Chinese workers on the expansion of the railroad, as well as the curiosities of the era through a fantastical magic troupe. The NPR review of this book highlights how each character plays with genre, which was true and definitely one interesting part of the novel. Thematically, I thought this book was interesting if a bit restrained, and the characters were neat. Unfortunately, though I enjoyed giving this one a read, at the end of the day, it's all a bit forgettable.

Dumb Luck by Vu Trong Phung (trans. Nyuyen Nguyet Cam and Peter Zinoman)

Tumblr bookclub read! Like I said to A and Rhu, I found the introduction "Vu Trong Phung's Dumb Luck and the Nature of Vietnamese Modernism" by Peter Zinoman more interesting than the text itself, but overall, I'm glad I read the book. It's always really interesting to read these sort of big, foundational texts -- even in fairly recent translation. I haven't read a lot of satire and really don't know that much about Vietnam before American involvement, but the thrust of the text was definitely quite interesting (and brutal -- one review described all the characters as antagonists) even if I didn't fully understand all the conversations, it was taking part in.

Heart of Darkness (3rd Norton Critical Edition) by Joseph Conrad (ed. Robert Kimbrough)

Confession: I think I'd read this before and almost entirely forgotten it. I didn't particularly enjoy the book and literarily, I'm not sure that I got what quality elevates it to a "great novel." I especially enjoyed the back-and-forth among several scholars (especially around Achebe) about its relationship to colonialism, inclusion in the canon, and European self-definition against Africa as a "primitive other." I'm glad I read it mostly because I feel like it gives me a better sense of the larger conversation around Leopold in the Congo and the literary/related discourses around the scramble for Africa. So, thematically, glad I read it; literarily, whatever.

The Last King of Scotland by Giles Foden

The end :) maybe I'll do this again someday!

Another confession: I pick a lot of books by wandering around the library and just grabbing one that looked interesting. I did read Heart of Darkness before this for a reason. I quite liked reading this one -- I thought the narration was really interesting and the narrator's complicity in the brutality of Idi Amin's rule was neat. Certain scenes were very brutal (and the book was certainly well-researched). I felt like at times, the time-skips didn't quite work, but the general disconnect between Garrigan, his identity, and what was happening around him was interesting. I think I had to watch the film that was a loose adaptation of the book in class in high school. I think I could probably have some more interesting thematic and political comments on this one if I sat on it a little longer, but I'm kind of getting tired of writing this and also I finished it like, twelve and a half hours ago or something.

[diodellet]

ooohh that ask game has some interesting questions hmm how abt 16, 18, and 23?

i am realizing just how much this ask game is making me bare my soul goshhh (/not srs), thanks for sending me an ask, bibi!

16. What makes you immediately close a fic that otherwise seemed good?

hm...well, most of the time i try to stick it out even if i'm not enjoying the fic from the first few sentences. like, maybe it's just me but a lot of the first words of a fic tends to be the (for lack of a better word) "the gunk" that precedes the actual story? like some stories just have slow starts, but they do get gud.

but to answer the q, i guess stuff that makes me roll my eyes at a fic, in the context of x readers would probably have to be:

disclaimer: most of the time, i don't mind reading these. but there are just moments where they bother me as i'm reading

reader getting carried bridal style (i dont like it, i hate it. id rather be carried like a sack of potatoes. or id rather be carried like a goat by its shepherd. but i do like seeing characters getting princess-carried) just carry me like this instead 🤧🤧👇

royalty AU++CEO/office/corporate-setting AU (like secret princess of a kingdom or being a secretary, for example) i'm not a big fan of those kinds of settings. like ok sure a chara can look good in business formal or in some fine furs, but once the eye candy wears off thats when i exit the fic oops.

fics centered around marriage: i don't really enjoy reading proposals. also thinking of how the rings, the dresses, and the flowers look is hard bcs of my (partial?) aphantasia, but weddings Are Pretty Fun as a background setting. overall, i think what bothers me most is that the chara loses a bit of their personality after they get wed together with the reader.

^^actually in relation to this... im not that big of a fan of prom/dance settings, they both read very similarly, especially since the reader tends to be placed in the more passive role of being asked out. (but when you make it angsty or hurt/comfort, ok i will read it i'm a simple girl)

Oh and ig this is just me wishing for more in the Imposter-SAGAU genre of fanfic (i mean i'm still looking around, i don't feel desperate enough to write smth of my own), but i kinda wish the charas weren't so doe-eyed and quick to apologize to the reader. like, i get the feeling of wanting to write The Good Bits Immediately (e.g. being fawned over, getting to lord that blunder over the characters) but the potential of slowburn trauma recovery and developing a relationship from straight-up antagonism is Right There.

18. What media do you want to get into because of artists/writers you like?

i think i'd want to try reading more poetry? like, if i rb a lot of web weaving, i gotta know sumn other than "deep" pop lyrics (u wont find me saying nice things about ms sw*ft). so far i'm thinking of starting with ocean vuong and richard siken (basic ik but i mean, their works are good)

dunmeshi! i've been putting it off for forever 🙈🙈 (<-girlie watched frieren and forgor abt dunmeshi bcs they got yorushika to do the 2nd OP) but senshi,,,, SENSHI THE MAN THAT U ARE,,,,

Oh! and i'm rlly curious about alien stage! my sibling's dipping into it and he told me it was basically america's got talent x the promised neverland. and he said the magic words "toxic yaoi" and "doomed yuri," i Gotta watch it atp. (also like, carole and tuesday rearranged my brain, im ready to put a sadder spin on it😤)

23. What would you make a 5 hour video essay on, if you had enough time and motivation?

as soon as i read this all my hyperfixations have: left the server HAHAHA

maybe in terms of recent ones, i could try analyzing madds buckley's my love is sick. i wrote about that album for a final paper in a basic music elective, but i was constrained to only 3 pages so i only talked about 2-3 songs. but i could pretend to be a music major and regale ppl with how the leitmotifs tie together and completely destroy me add a new layer of meaning to the songs on subsequent listens. Also like, these songs just Get It (not sure what "it" is exactly, but there's smth related to first love and love lost*)

(but atm im just yoinking songs from there to use for fic/chapter titles, i plan on using one for this ruggie timeloop angst fic im plotting out anyway)

(art appreciation ask questions, please bug me to rb some underrated art and fic)

[moonmothmama]

slowly finishing part two of the nevers

just got through episode 9 (fever) and. it went to the sex club??

ok i get it you're tying all this shit together but BABY ALIEN IN THE VICTORIAN RICH BASTARD SEX CLUB? IN THE POOL IN THE SEX CLUB?

this show is fucking bananas. oohhhh my god.

Hugo is out here getting himself painted gold for an Olympian themed orgy while his abusive father dies. Lord Massen's Touched daughter is secretly alive locked in the basement but he might try to kill her. and all the shit with the Bidlow siblings. there's all this weird symmetry and it's like barely coherent. what the hell is this show. why am i so invested in this. it's so good but at the same time it's a train wreck. i would say it's gone totally off the rails but was it ever on them?

the actors are so good. it's beautifully acted. and the characters are interesting. but the plot has run away with itself. it's bonkers. there's so much- too much- going on. it's excessive to the point of being almost baffling. there are too many tangled threads. imho this story could be really good if it a) was stretched out over at least three seasons, thereby giving time to weave plotlines together and develop more than a handful of characters* b) was, shall we say, tidied up a bit, and some Questionable Decisions revised.

*- oh look! they remembered that Harriet, Primrose, and Desirée exist!

that said, i mean, here i am watching it, so. idfk man.

and just by the fucking way, is that the dead widow somehow reasserting herself???? whaaaaaat the fuuuuuuuuuck is going on here

there's three more episodes and i can't decide if i'd rather binge it or stretch it out for the next few days. which is worse? also, as usual, goddammit Frank

the scene with him and Lucy was genuinely very good

note: Nick Frost is fuckin chilling in this show. i hope he gets more roles like this one. but if that knife he gave the hateful bigoted teenage girl ends up hurting Myrtle i'm gonna burn something down.

no one spoiler me please in the extremely off chance that anyone in this fandom (what is it like half a dozen ppl) even sees this post within the next few days <3

ps- not shedding any tears for the colonel but neither am i cheering for the piece of shit doctor

[ayliamc]

Italia

Day 5 - The Smell of the Ocean

Steps walked: 16,283

Flights climbed: 13

Vehicles ridden: 3 (two by land, one by water)

Points of interest visited: 3

Leonardos spotted: only bastardizations in tourist swag

We took our time having breakfast and checking out of the hotel, opting for comfort and taking a taxi to the train station rather than the metro. We got to marvel at the skill and audacity of Italian drivers as he cut through solid walls of traffic to get us to the station with plenty of time to spare. We strolled directly onto the train for the nearly three hour ride to Venezia. ‘Twas a relatively uneventful train ride, mostly pleasant, aside from the little boy who sat next to me for 30% of the ride who watched stuff on his phone with the volume on.

We arrived in Venezia, a sinking city, hungry. We tried two cafes at the train station who reportedly sometimes had vegan croissants but no such luck. Dan was noticeably worried because as my hunger grows, my moods become more mercurial. I insisted I’d be ok and that we could head to our hotel and maybe we’ll find something on the way. I was determined not to be the problem, as I usually am.

It was a half hour walk through Venezia to our hotel and along the way we passed a Chinese restaurant listed on Happy Cow (our vegan restaurant finder app, a necessity for every traveling vegan). I was not about to resist another break from Italian food so we had a very satisfying lunch there and I have no regrets about our first stop in Venezia being to a Chinese restaurant.

The rest of our walk to the hotel was uneventful, providing us a nice walking tour of the city, encumbered only by our luggage.

Some observations/thoughts about Venezia:

* For all intents and purposes, there are no roads. No cars. No vehicles. We walked exclusively through alleys, for lack of a better word. Ranging from wide to impossibly narrow, weaving with no apparent rhyme or reason thru the multi-story ancient buildings housing apartments, hotels, restaurants, and shops. Modern kitsch sold from crumbling brick store fronts and tourist traps next to local markets.

* How could anyone live here? It’s just fine to visit. Kind of surreal to experience. But people live their lives in this city where Amazon deliveries are brought by rolly cart and courier and emergency services take a boat to the nearest canal. Their day-to-day is spent navigating through a sea of tourists who seemingly outnumber them.

* It feels less like a real place where people live as it does a run down amusement park where there’s only one ride: a 30 minute gondola ride that costs €80. It’s all in need of a good scrubbing to get rid of that algae/fish/sea salt smell.

* You pay for water at restaurants here. They don’t do tap water.

Our hotel was directly next to a canal and gondola “start point”, of which there are many. The gentleman who ran the hotel greeted us at the door and was outrageously friendly and nice and Italian. “Buongiorno! Ciao! Welcome! You have-a my favorite room-a!”

‘Twas indeed a very nice room with windows that overlooked a canal. We unloaded our bags and went for a walk to the Piazza San Marco and the Doge’s Palace and meandered around, taking in the sights and sounds. Without having much interest in actually paying for admission to any of the museums or historic landmarks, there wasn’t a whole lot for us to do.

And here we are sighing at the bridge of sighs.

We eventually found ourselves in a gondola not far from our hotel (but not the one right next to the hotel entrance). I’d noticed that all the gondoliers were male and I did a bit of googling to confirm that in Venezia’s history, only one “female” gondolier has ever existed, and even then not really. Alex Hai became the “first female gondolier” a few years before he came out as trans. As far as I can tell, he still works as an occasional gondolier but by appointment only. He also works as a filmmaker. So we couldn’t support any women or trans-men, and were left with a traditional gondolier. He was still great and pointed out a few things on our half hour tour. My initial thought that 30 minutes was too short a ride was replaced after about 20 minutes when I decided “yeah, 30 minutes is plenty.”

Many of the gondoliers chat with each other as they pass, their long oars on the right of the boat while they use their left leg to kick off the building walls on either end of the narrow canals. It seems like an exhausting job. I don’t know how they do it. But it’s fun to watch.

We had some time to kill before our reservations. (Too late we discovered there’s exactly one vegan restaurant in all of Venezia and it was far and required reservations which we had not made. An email revealed to us that they were fully booked for the night. Our next best option was a very expensive restaurant that had a vegan menu.) We wandered aimlessly through our little corner of the city while I marveled at some of my aforementioned observations and went to our reservations a half hour early. They seated us immediately on their patio* and we immediately became aware that we were much too poor for this restaurant. We ordered two dishes each, aware that one dish would not be enough food despite the cost. Anyway it was all good. Not as good as the best meal I’ve had, and not good enough to justify the cost. But quite tasty. We had a nice leisurely dinner, hampered only by the French woman sitting next to us who lit up a cigarette right after we had our appetizers. Europeans, amiright?

I’ve also been starting to respond to every dog sighting with an ever increasing yearning for our babies back home. The best part of a vacation is knowing you’ll be ready to finish it at the end. We’re about halfway there, and that feels right.

Our hotel had given us a complimentary bottle of wine which was a sweet, mild Chardonnay which we happily enjoyed before bed, falling asleep to the sounds of splashing water and boats passing by in the canal below our window.

*the alley behind the restaurant

[fishtails-nat1]

grading double life ships, shipnames, if any, added in brackets.

CANON PAIRINGS:

Ma'el/Pall'or (cultduo, sometimes maellor) the classic, they had chemistry day one. honestly not much more to say other than the fact that the players are on their hands and knees to stop the slowburn and let them fuck. bonus points for the intersting backstory weaving. 10/10

Eiwn/Miym very well done friendship to tragic love. the chemistry these two have is off the walls, like why are pep and cerin so good at doing these friends to lovers ships. the tragic family aspect and cool gods backstory stuff provides a really interesting dynamic. 10/10 i like the poem

RD/Alastrelle (no common tagname, but adding in one ive seen; "winnerduo" cause its funny as fuck) I didn't used to see it cause they had a slight roughness to their alliance but when alastrelle started getting darker vibes? ok yeah this is some cool corruption shit. RD has nothing to hold them back anymore either. i hope they win and kiss about it. 10/10

Luck/Lilly (tigerlilly, luckian) I think this one is actually just canon aside from pairing stuff? or its luck pining a lot, whatever. it's... it's hard to actually judge this one because pep can't actually play out them talking to one another, but y'know what yeah i like the vibes. me and my girlwife who hates people. me and my malewife who trips over roots. 8/10

NON-CANON PAIRINGS:

RD/Pall'or why is their friends with benefits energy off the CHARTS holy shit. RD has plans to kill him but the enemies to lovers energy could be fucking insane??? they have multiple plans to fuck?? the fact that pall'or knows every inch of their body?? 10/10 keeps that inappropriate workplace relationship going

RD/Eiwn they work really well as the weirdgirl/jockboy so I think it's pretty funny. yeah we gay keep scrolling! not a lot of substance anymore and tbh i've seen a lot of angst breakup fics following the latest events so.... yeah.... 6/10

Alastrelle/Luck from what I've seen, all the fics are entirely about the single conversation they've had. There's some further chemistry to be explored, but for now, I don't really see it. 4/10

Pall'or/Alastrelle the starboys... the lovers under the moon... I think they can be so wonderful or horrible for each other. i dont know why im saying this but hannigrm kind of. 7/10

Pall'or/Lilly HOOOOO boy theres a lot to be said when most of the fics under this are hurt no comfort and one-sided relationship. cool job speculating what the fuck happened between these guys. 9/10 because pallor would actually do that yeah

RD/Luck ok yeah again with the pathetic malewife who trips over roots and the cool strong one. I think the fact that RD does actually like luck feeds into this, it's pretty strong actually. 9/10

Pall'or/Luck ok half these noncanon ships involve them so its abt time! i don't have anything to add i just agree. 9/10 because they have yet to flirt in an insane way

Luciano/Cle'av i've seen some age discourse around this so no hate please im just doing rankings. we all love a consentual workplace relationship, especially on the dating death game show. 7/10

Ma'el/Luck once again dont mention the discourse pleaseeee luck said "oh i guess we're not then" in the same sentance after bringing up being related. yeah i think a dog and a cat can be lovers, if they try hard enough. more than anything i like the fact that theyre streetsmart vs booksmart vibe that pall and mael have too. 9/10

RD/Eiwn/Alastrelle polycule is always a win. i have small hope they'll meetup again to do more stuff like the bear bit, buttttt things arent going good. i miss these three 10/10

Ma'el/Pall'or/Luck ive said all that ive needed to say. 10/10

[lady-bluebird-luv]

Hello Luv, Santa is back! Just in time for a little Halloween celebration. Are you doing anything especially frightening for 31st?

I will always read 300 pages of your Feysand takes, so bring them on. And did you somehow introduce me to a new Hozier song? Wasteland Baby is my favorite album but I had never listened to the special edition.

I did a lot of evil cackling, maybe even steepled my fingers, when I read your responses to my questions. There were two or three fic ideas I had kicking around in my head, and I think I've chosen the one that will be a feast of favorites! I can promise at least that someone will be covered with blood.

Would you be interested in some teasers and other little gifts between now and the official release date? I can certainly light a few candles and try to build some anticipation.

In the meantime I have a few questions for you:

What are some of your favorite books?

Tell me a little bit about your other fandom and what drew you to write for it!

And: what's your favorite scary movie?

Until next time! 🎅

Santa, I would be beyond happy to get a stocking stuffer! I hope you're enjoying spooky season :) I'm so excited to see what you come up with, and I hope you're having fun plotting! I'm also absolutely thrilled to introduce you to more Hozier, and I don't suppose you've heard Ethel Cain's new song, too?

As far as choosing favorite books goes... WOOO-WEE I don't know where to begin. I love books that are kinda weird and/or surreal. It doesn't need to be fantasy or sci-fi to scratch the itch, but it often is. I also love fictional worlds that just... feel really lush and vibrant, which I know sounds really vague, but I don't know how to describe it much better than that. :/ I guess a good example would be Marlon James's Dark Star Trilogy, which I adore.

Some of my other favorites right now are the Aye, and Gomorrah collection by Samuel Delany, anything by Toni Morrison or Yoko Tawada, and The Overstory by Richard Powers. Stuff by Emily St. John Mandel (think Station Eleven) and Lydia Millet (especially A Children's Bible) are also up there. Dark academia also hits the spot for me, so I love work by Maggie Stiefvater and Laini Taylor, although it's been a long time since I reread their books. I used to be obsessed with The Mortal Instruments. I'll still always have a soft spot for them and the Infernal Devices.

I don't consider myself a huge poetry person, but the book that I keep coming back to more than anything else is actually my anthology of Louise Glück's poems. She writes a lot about the loss, failure, shortcomings, etc. that are inevitable in life. A lot of her material is pretty depressing (if not straight-up dark), but she weaves painful experiences into extraordinarily beautiful poems. I admire that a lot, and it's... comforting, in a way? Catharsis doesn't quite capture what I mean. She's not going to tell you that it will all be OK in the end, but that's alright, because that's how life is sometimes. I like that she rips the band-aid off AND shows you how to grit your teeth while she does it. Ocean Vuong's poetry is also some of my favorite writing.

I don't know how familiar you are with my other fandom, Attack on Titan, but it was a HUGE part of my life for a long, long time. It still is near and dear to my heart, although ACOTAR has taken some brainspace from it for sure.

I've always read a lot, and when I was... 13? 14? somewhere in there. I got bored to death with a lot of the YA novels I was reading. I got into anime/manga to try something new, and since AoT was one of the big shows at the time, I watched it first.

It was a hell of a first anime, but I really liked the action and how deceptively simple the premise is. In case you aren't familiar, I won't spring any spoilers on you. But basically, the premise is very easy to grasp until you realize that a lot of characters are lying through their teeth about themselves and the world around them. AoT was also one of the few major animes at the time that had basically zero fanservice, which I appreciated, and the characters were really appealing. AoT has a strong anti-war message, and the story is partially about how governments can prey on young, idealistic, hurt people by turning them into war machines. There are no heroes in AoT. If you think otherwise, wait a few episodes.

I love morally grey characters (if you couldn't tell) and angst that seems to have no good solution, so that drew me in. Hange might be my favorite character.

I'd already written a little fanfic before AoT. It was for a really trashy fallen angel romance called Hush, Hush. It's definitely still out there on fanfiction.net LMFAO. I don't remember my username or the name of the story, which might be for the best. In any case, when I found the AoT fandom, I was so excited to find a huge and incredibly talented fandom. AoT is what introduced me to AO3 (for better and for worse) and where I learned to channel my writing itch into projects that I could stay passionate about for, in some of my fics' cases, years. Looking back, some of what I wrote was definitely cringey. Nevertheless, I'm also really proud of how well some of it has held up and performed. I learned a lot from writing AoT fic, and writing for AoT undeniably boosted my confidence as an artist.

Also, Santa, I LOVE horror movies. I'm not gustsy enough to try to write horror, but I think it's one of, if not THE hardest genre to execute well, and I admire a good horror film. My favorite has to be Hereditary.

This video essay is a great breakdown of what makes the film awesome. It's a way better explanation than what I could do, but it's also almost five hours long. So, the TLDR is that the film subverts and reworks a lot of tropes while having insane acting, cinematography, effects, etc. When I saw it, it was the first genuinely frightening movie I'd seen in a while. I'm not super into the torture porn/pure shock value style horror movies, and I think this one strikes a good balance between disturbing gore and psychological horror.

I moved to Central Europe recently, so I celebrated Halloween in a very foggy ex-Yugoslavian city with lots of bridges over canals. The spooky vibes were indeed spooking. I hope you had fun :).

[idontknowreallywhy]

Gordon as ‘Scope Creep’ personified is inspired 🤣 no boundaries, all persistent “what if I just…” and I love how fondly Virgil considers it - even as he could becoming really irritated by finding more squares he reminds himself he loves this aspect of his brother. He’s such a good human.

But the hidden (deliberate? Accidental?) genius of the discordant colours beginning to make sense and be less offensive when they are all in together is very Gordon.

And then we’re reminded of how much EFFORT Virg is putting into the creating the return gift and that Scott and John have both been involved too and AAAAAAGH IT’S SO HEART-WARMING I’M COOKING… I love how Scott sees the pattern in amongst the chaos, that’s exactly what he would be good at.

Neutral yellow 🤪🥰💛

BUT THEN

Eeep you whumped the Virg!!! He was just going so to sit down with a lovely coffee and some crochet and you whalloped him hard! Poor boy 😭

And the first thing he thinks of when he wakes is the blanket - as if that’s what got him (I mean it was getting rather weighty…). Aaah. And he does what he’s told cos Scott 💙💚

Interesting observation that Gordon wouldn’t be humming his shanties in a hospital. And the way he moves gently and quietly when needed - someone who didn’t know him well maybe wouldn’t have thought he had it in him and yet… OH first thing Virg does is notice the injury on his squid and try to check. The looking out for each other is just hard-wired into the bros💚💛

And ouch, but I’m so glad it’s Gordon telling him he’s ok and it’s temporary.

Virg’s inner monologue is just perfect and makes me teary. It’s so him and so Gordon:

This bit…. “His heart is music, his soul is color. Where sound is oversaturated with the wisps and hums of machinery tracking his vitals, his heartbeat in rhythm, color becomes his touchstone. Outside the window will be the cerulean of the sky and sea. Green, which he thinks in its most basic form because it’s every combination of the hue throughout the robust plant-life of their Island. Dandelion yellow - the sun and safety and Gordon’s baldric”

🥹

Oh my gosh I’m going to need a minute again…

And then WAIT WHAT is Gordon doing? Weaving in his ends… the ones he left to wind up V. And he’s finished Virgil’s blanket? So it runs in a circle, each completing the other.

Oh I just LOVE IT ALL but I have to go back to work.

Thank you for a lovely completion to a fabulous fic 🥰

Fic: Grannies - Part 4 (Finale)

Summary: Gordon's committed to the bit. The bit just happens to be an obnoxious amount of granny squares.

A/N- In the finale: warning for a bit of whump. Whole lotta love though. Words for this part come to 2K.

Part 1 here | Part 2 here | Part 3 here | AO3

Thank yous: craftyfam, patient readers, my yarn stash for inspiration, Kat for the read through and assuring me this was post ready. FFXIV I can't thank you because you are a menace and a distraction no matter how much I love you.

*****

Part 4: Finale

Because Gordon never goes half-assed into anything, Virgil is still finding granny squares. 

He has to keep reminding himself that he appreciates Gordon’s dedication. He actually relies on this part of his brother’s character. Frequently, in fact. 

But as he pries a stray granny square out of his sock drawer and tosses it into the project basket housing its companions, Virgil has to roll his eyes. Fondly of course. In the project management world, they call this scope creep - with no real end in sight, the project keeps getting bigger and more involved, and it’s all too easy for it to just keep living on indefinitely. But then, Gordon is one big Scope Creep anyway since he was never one for boundaries in the first place. 

His definition of an appropriate time to stop was very different from Virgil’s. 

At this point, the new square isn’t anything Virgil hasn’t seen before. He knows by now what to expect from Gordon’s work. And, honestly, it’s just like Gordon to somehow manage to desensitize Virgil away from everything he knows about color theory, however briefly. So, neither the presence of the piece of fabric nor the color combination provides any shock value anymore. 

What it does do is remind him that he’s got his own project balancing to do. That of actually… you know… finishing the damn thing. And figuring out what to do with the rest of the squares, he reminds himself as he slides on his socks and laces up his boots for the day. 

The newest acquisition - two rounds of golden yellow followed by two rounds of aubergine purple and a final in white - doesn’t look as visually discordant alongside its peers, the scrambled rainbow they are.  They are all the ones that didn’t make the cut for Gordon’s afghan, the  squares Virgil keeps finding anew, and inevitably the future ones Gordon will continue to make until he receives another lightning strike of an idea.

Right beside it is a second project basket. Gordon likes a big blanket, so enough squares to fit a king sized bed are already packed up and labeled in their sequential order. As he’s had time, Virgil has started sewing them together based on the design Scott helped with. There’s enough space still for him to store the bolt of fabric John helped him find too, once it finally arrives. 

Virgil’s grateful for their help, and their part in the project has made it just that bit more special. He hopes Gordon feels that way too. It took Scott reminding him that it wasn’t his own aesthetic he was trying to please for the design to come together. Otherwise, Virgil has no doubt what he would’ve designed would’ve been lesser for his own misery trying to force order into chaos. 

Somehow, with the power of math, Scott’s perspective on patterns and probability and randomization had been just the ticket. Gordon also probably hadn’t realized just how many squares he’d made that started with the shade of yellow or orange or his typical bright shades. Just that little bit of consistency was all he and Scott needed to figure the rest out as they laid out the squares. It wasn’t a pattern, a fade, or even entirely randomized. But a couple edits later, they had the final layout, the squares numbered, and Virgil had gotten to work joining his own granny stitches into his brother’s work in the only color Gordon considered “neutral” - yellow. 

Unable to resist the smile it brings, Virgil tugs the blanket out of the basket and unfolds the two rows he’s finished, with the third halfway complete. It doesn’t bother him that his connecting yarn is still live - the hook has his last loop stabbed into the working skein, and even if it does come unraveled a little, crochet is not so difficult to start again. 

It had taken a few tries to find the right hook to help him match Gordon’s stitches. Even though Virgil taught him a few years ago, no two makers’ work was exactly alike. And Gordon was as carefree with his gauge as he was in the rest of his life. 

Excitement thrums through him; it’s morning, the birds are chirping, and he’s feeling motivated and productive. The crochet work is soft in his hands, the next square in the sequence visible in the project basket below but hiding the rest of the queue for the third row. It’s the perfect day to grab some coffee, hide away in his studio for a few hours, and let the project surprise him. 

That’s the way a WIP should work: it should inspire along the way. 

Virgil has just thrown a towel over the basket to make it seem like it could be laundry - just in case he runs into a wayward squid - when the alarm in his room sounds and John’s voice comes over comms. 

They have a rescue. 

~*~

Virgil awakes to the smell of antiseptic and the uncomfortable feeling that his mouth tastes like cotton. 

Something about that makes him want to giggle, except he can’t actually do that. 

“Easy, Virg.” Hands, soothing, graze his hairline. “They’ve got you on the good stuff.”

He can tell. He hasn’t opened his eyes yet to know if he’s in a hospital or the infirmary, nor does he know what happened to land him there.

Based on the cotton in his throat and in his head and in his lungs, maybe he ate Gordon’s blanket. 

The giggle turns into a groan. 

“You’re okay now. Rest, Virgil.” 

Since the voice is Scott, he does so.

~*~

The next time he remembers waking, he’s in the infirmary on the island. Again, this he knows not because he’s opened his eyes to figure it out, but because his senses tell him so. Only one brother knows sea shanties enough to be familiar with that one and, if Gordon is here humming it, they’re both definitely not in a hospital.

The words he wants to say trudge through the molasses on their way out.

“Wha’ happ’n?” 

“Virgil!” It’s surprise, and excitement, and relief all rolled into one, but Gordon has the good sense to keep his voice low once the original shock of him waking settles.  

Gordon knows the drill well, his voice barely above a whisper as he closes the blinds and scoops some ice chips into a cup. Virgil’s grateful for the gentle way he moves about the room; he can hear him shuffling around, dictating as he goes. By the time Gordon returns with the cup of blessed relief for the feeling in his esophagus, Virgil has managed to tearily blink his eyes half-open. 

Beneath his brother’s brushed fringe hides a bruise the size of a fist, purpling so harshly at his hairline that Virgil ignores the ice chip Gordon offers him in favor of reaching up to check the injury out for himself. Immediately, his body protests the movement, and Gordon urges him to lower his arm back to the support of the bed.

“Yeah, maybe don’t try that?” Gordon waves him off. “I’m fine. What do you remember?” 

Through the pain in his lower half and the color of Gordon’s face, the memories of the rescue come back clearer. Unfortunately, of all things, they’d been called out to a mudslide. He’d checked Gordon out in the field, he remembers. A panicked civilian with a wayward right hook while Gordon was calming his husband. The man had been incredibly apologetic, and Gordon assured him no harm was done, but Virgil pulled him off duty as a concussion risk and left him in Two with  Grandma talking to him.

Then, when Virgil went after a lifesign in a toppling two-story… 

“A house hit me.” 

“Well, more mud than house. You’re ok though. You were buried from the waist up. Had some compartment syndrome. Everything you’re feeling - or not - is temporary.”  

“You came to get me.” Virgil could argue that grounded meant grounded, that Gordon should never’ve gone after him in such dangerous conditions, that he’s the big brother and Gordon’s the little one and he should keep himself safe when he’s told to do so. But there’s a challenge in his little brother’s warm honey eyes already, and he remembers faintly words spoken in worry and fear, assurances that tighten in a coil around his heart.

“I did. There wasn’t anyone else.”  

He owes Gordon everything.

Virgil hums, “Thank you.”

Between the pain medication and water soothing the grittiness in his throat, he feels more aware by the minute and ready to try sitting up for a time. Gordon helps him settle a few pillows into position and raises the head of the infirmary bed to the appropriate level. He’s got to let Scott know he’s awake - and Grandma -  Gordon tells him. Before either of them decide to have scolded Squid for dinner. 

Virgil doesn’t have the energy to chuckle, but it does as he knows Gordon intended: leave him with a smile for the few moments Gordon needs to step away to communicate Virgil’s situation. 

His heart is music, his soul is color. Where sound is oversaturated with the wisps and hums of machinery tracking his vitals, his heartbeat in rhythm, color becomes his touchstone. Outside the window will be the cerulean of the sky and sea. Green, which he thinks in its most basic form because it’s every combination of the hue throughout the robust plant-life of their Island. Dandelion yellow - the sun and safety and Gordon’s baldric. 

Past the shut blinds, it’s all just a sliver. More prominently, there’s just white and infirmary clean grey.  He has to blink away the dullness, as he tears his gaze away from the window and finally musters the strength to glance at himself and especially at his lower half past the pain where Gordon promised his lack of feeling, muted through painkillers, was temporary. 

Color, so much of it that it’s blinding, greets him with the neon of signage amidst the Las Vegas cityscape and the celebration of the New York Pride parade they attend each year. The blanket draped across his lap is authentic Gordon through and through, in familiar squares assembled in a chaos true to their variety. No rhyme, no reason. 

So much care. 

“Grandma will be in shortly.” Gordon plops into the chair at his side, wiggling in the armchair to reacquire the work he’d placed on the seat cushion. He catches him looking, wide-eyed. “It’s not your project, promise. Though I did bring it in for you to work on when you’re feeling better. It’s over by the holoscreen whenever you want me to bring it over. You’ll be here for a bit healing, so I figured…” He shrugs, trailing off. 

“Gordon?” He slides his fingers between the stitches and curls them gratefully into soft, comforting colors. “What are you doing?” 

“I’m - uh -” Gordon flushes in dim light. “I’m weaving in my ends finally,” he admits, holding up the darning needle. “Sorry if you had another idea for the squares, but once I finished putting yours together, I realized we had enough still to donate some more blankets and those really should be finished.” Gordon weaves a red tail end back and forth between the strands the way Virgil taught him, and the way their mom taught Virgil. “I really did go a little overboard on granny squares didn’t I? I just figured it would be okay for me to help you along. So you could finish what you were working on. Was that ok?”

“More than.” 

It also tells him a significant amount about how serious his injuries were and how long he might have been out of commission, if Gordon’s found the time to finish as much as he has. The concern for what he’s put his family through spikes his heartbeat again, and his younger brother glances up to check on him, the monitors, back at him.

Virgil gives him a weary smile, tugging the blanket further up his chest. “I’m ok,” he assures him. “Thanks to you.” 

“Don’t do it again,” he admonishes, shaking his head.

Neither of them can promise the other, not in their line of work, and they both know it. 

The words go unspoken, but they are woven delicately in the strands of their gifts to each other. Virgil feels the care against his skin, in colors that chase away greys, and soft cotton that sifts fear and worry out through openwork patterning. And when Grandma finally makes her way in to check in on him, his heart is so full with the chance he’s been given, the support he’s always had by the people he cares for, that the love hits him with a wave of exhaustion. 

Into sleep he falls, deeply into dreamless rest by the time Grandma finishes her checks and  Gordon tucks him in with a thankful salute to the stars above.

The End

[spookyserenades]

Hii <3 hope you are well! So... I've read Trouvaille, and I'm in love! 😭 I can't describe in words how much I liked this story, I wish I could convey everything in words. Its plot is VERY interesting, I read the synopsis and I was like "Hm, I've never seen anything like this, how fascinating" and when I read the chapters I really enjoyed it and was VERY interested in the story.

I was wondering how you managed to come up with a combination of ideas like ??? Ok, I've read several Hybrid fanfics, but combining supernatural and horror?? PERFECT! Everything I needed in my life and didn't know. And the vibe of this fanfic is ??? AAAAAAAAA IT'S VERY GOOD, I can already imagine the scenarios and everything is very good to read! I imagine the house as the one from the Ozark's series (even if the location of the series is not at all old, but I imagine Trouvaille a lot like that, the filter, the scenography, and I think it matches the story a lot. Well, at least when I imagine the story be like that).

I'm also IN LOVE with how you made the characters, all the hybrids being predators and the personality of each one I LOVE SO MUCH, I'm SO curious about them, I want to know EVERYTHINGGG!! It's amazing how UNIQUE each thing in the story is, and that makes it even better! Because I hadn't seen anything like it yet, it's so original and so beautiful 😭 For example, jungkook ??? instead of a shy and sweet personality, it's COMPLETELY the opposite, and I LOVED it, "rebellious" and a little "arrogant" perfectly matching his appearance, I don't know, I imagine that very well. As if it matches his age since he's the youngest (although jungkook is already past 15 with the rebellious phase LOL)

And taehyung is soo 🥺🤏 same with what the boys said about him LOL, SORRY, I CAN'T HAND IT IS SO CUTE! He reminded me a lot of Ice Bear from "We Bare Bears" 😭💓

And when the character had that nightmare, I thought it might be namjoon 👀 and when you posted the third chapter and you had the description of his eyes, I was like hmmm 👀 but anyway, I don't have many theories about that, because I bet you will tell us surprise with these things! Then I'm ready!

And about those "electric shocks" that the character feels when she touches Seokjin (or someone else, I don't remember very well) it made me think "are they Companions? 👀 or soulmates" but as it only happened with Jin, I was very excited doubt. We still don't know much, so it's hard to make theories. I can't wait for them to come around and we discover so much more!

When I think that the update is only on the 7th and 20th, I feel so sad 😔 LOL, but when you write these huge chapters, I get really excited because I know the wait is worth it! 💓💓💓

(I hope it wasn't too difficult to understand what I said, English is not my first language so I'm afraid of getting confused LOL)

HIIII darling, oh my goodness!! I'm doing very well, and I hope you are too! I just want to say, thank you so SO much for sending me such a beautiful message, you've brought such a smile to my face <3 I'm so happy you find the plot to be fascinating so far, I really wanted to have multiple layers in this fic to keep the reader on their toes!

Inspirations for this story are numerous! I've loved hybrid fics for a long time, and always wanted to write one of my own. I've drawn inspiration from many of my favorite forms of media, whether it be music, film, literature, or TV shows. The largest sources of inspirations come from the music of Deftones, films Constantine (2005 Francis Lawrence) Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009 Wes Anderson), books such as The Exorcist, Wuthering Heights, and Water for Elephants, and most of all, TV shows Twin Peaks, The X-Files, Yellowstone, and Ghost Adventures (LOL). I take some of my favorite bits of these shows and sort of weave them all together to create a plot, even if one thing doesn't seem to go with another. I think now, after having written this story for so long, all these inspirations seem to complement each other in different ways :) I'm planning on releasing a whole post about Trouvaille inspirations, including an in-depth look at how certain characters from my favorite forms of media influenced the hybrids in Trouvaille. I adore horror movies and all things spooky, and so I couldn't help myself by including some darker themes into Trouvaille!

My parents LOVE Ozark, I've never seen it myself, but after your mentioning of it, I looked up the house you were referring to. The vibe is VERY much like the setting I imagined for the Trouvaille house! It takes place in a town outside of Boston, Massachusetts, so it is a heavily wooded and misty sort of area. The house itself is an old Victorian mansion of sorts, but the outside areas of the home, including all of the densely grouped trees, are VERY much like that Ozark home.

I'm so happy you're loving Jungkook's character so far. He has definitely been one of my favorite hybrids to write about! Jungkook in real life definitely has those timid, sweet characteristics, but I totally see a bit of bad boy arrogance in him that I wanted to exaggerate in this story. You're right, it goes well with the fact that he's the youngest, perhaps having something to prove since he is the only hybrid who isn't a predator~

Taehyung is really a sweet little bear in this!! Ice Bear is a such a fantastic comparison, especially with Taehyung's stoicism and quiet nature. So cute <3

You're the second reader to theorize that Y/N's nightmares may be connected to Namjoon! You're totally right, the descriptions of both the eyes of the creature in her nightmare and Namjoon's are pretty similar. It's super interesting that you've both made this connection! I hope you'll tell me if you gather more clues from future updates :)

Seokjin is one of my babies in this story, I'd protect him with my life XD I love the concept of soulmates SO much! Its fun to write an OT7 story, because you have to come up with several ways to demonstrate different types of attraction to each member. Y/N definitely feels an electrical pull to Seokjin, but I wonder why... ;)

I'm so happy that you've shown so much love to each update of Trouvaille so far, and that you've sent me such a wonderful message in response. Reading all of your comments and theories have made my day!! I hope I was able to give you some more exciting insights to the story! April 7th will be here before you know it, with another hefty update :) I'd love to hear your thoughts surrounding Chapter Four when it drops!

By the way, your English is wonderful-- don't apologize, I could understand perfectly and you are so very kind and lovely! Thank you again for reading, enjoying, and taking the time to send in your beautiful response. Until we speak next time, I wish you nothing but happy days! <3

[blackjackkent]

Lorroakan loot:

[fahrquad pointing meme] Athkatlan!

Interesting. The staff is pretty okay for Gale but the robe isn't really even that impressive, at least as compared to the Potent Robe we got from Alfira all the way back in Act 2. So that will go towards the HGS Potions Fund.

I was gonna talk with Rolan but he seems to have disappeared so I'm assuming he's back downstairs and we'll talk to him later? Quick look around the tower first though.

First interesting thing - a note confirming that Lorroakan was a bastard, in case anyone needed it:

[fahrquad pointing meme again] Sellout! Asshole! Liar!

Honestly I'm relieved because if it turned out that he really HAD found some way to use her magic without hurting her then all of this would have felt a lot more complicated than it does. XD

He also has tried to write a book about himself to submit to the "Wizards of Note" book series, apparently:

That's more or less all that's up here, so heading back downstairs...

OK, going back downstairs we are caught by one of Lorroakan's projections and once again ejected from the shop for "HABITUAL VIOLENCE." No sign of Rolan.

INVISIBILITY AND BACK UP TO THE TOWER AGAIN!

Aha there you are. How you doing, Rolan?

"Lorroakan is dead. The bastard is dead."

"Are you all right?"

"I am. Now that the bastard's in bits." There's none of Rolan's old cocky confidence now. He just sounds extremely tired and sad. "Lorroakan was a cruel and vicious man. By day, I'd tend the shop, but at night - he'd fire the most nonsensical questions at me. And for every one I answered 'wrong', he'd beat me."

A pause. He looks down at his own palms. "I could've killed him with my own two hands, but I kept thinking it was all a test. It had to be. I thought it was the price I had to pay to become a true wizard. I realize now he was just a sick, sick man..."

Poor guy. Hector is no stranger, by now, to the terrible things that people in this world are capable of doing to each other. But it never fails to strike him with new ferocity every time he encounters it. Rolan has been a blowhard at times, but he's a good man at heart, and he doesn't deserve how his desire to better himself has been taken advantage of.

"He's dead now," he says quietly. "It's over. And you've won."

Rolan smiles slightly, with a hint of his old air of confidence - though muted now with experience. "I have," he agrees. "With your considerable help." He looks around thoughtfully. "I see things clearly now. If I wish to master the Weave, I must do it myself. Thankfully, I have everything I need - right here."

Hector grins. That sounds more like the Rolan he knows, and cocky though it is, it's good to hear it back, even a little. What he's proposing -- to take Lorroakan's tower for himself -- is certainly aiming high, though. "You'll be challenged," he points out. "I'm sure there are others who want the tower."

Rolan laughs softly. "Let them come. I happened across a book on the tower's defenses, and they are considerable." He's visibly starting to come out of the shock of the battle now, growing more energized. "I'll move Cal and Lia in immediately. Lorroakan refused to let them stay here. The are going to love the tower."

He pauses, then looks at Hector intently for a moment. "I wouldn't have this - the tower, my family - without you," he adds, with a more earnest tone than Hector has ever heard from him before. "What can I do to thank you?"

Hector smiles. The other man's gratitude and respect is worth more than any reward to him, and in truth he never expected to truly earn it. Were there less at stake, he would demand nothing at all.

But very soon, he will need people to stand with him against the terrible threat on the horizon. And Rolan has more than proved himself, over the time they've known each other.

"The city is under siege, from the inside out. I need allies," he says soberly.

"And you'll have me," Rolan agrees at once, nodding. Given everything they've been through, Hector is more than a little impressed at the lack of even a moment's hesitation. "I'll learn everything I can about the tower in the meantime, even if I have to rip this place apart. But know this - Ramazith's Tower, and its master, are now your friends. And when the time comes, we will stand by you as allies."

[mcyt-peach]

sweeter than honey

*:･ﾟ summary: your first venture into the building's kitchens introduces you to a girl almost as sweet as the things she's baking

*:･ﾟ pairing: cc!niki x gn!reader

*:･ﾟ warnings: reader uses they/them pronouns

*:･ﾟ note: oh sweet darling niki <3 this may be the fluffiest thing I’ve ever written and I’m not mad about it one bit

*:･ﾟ series masterlist

Sometimes you wish you could say no to Phil. He’s a great boss, always willing to listen to your problems and work around your schedule when you’re struggling.

But today was your day off and somehow you found yourself at the SMP Honey Company once again.

"Thank goodness you’re here!" Phil looks tired, like he’s running on too little sleep and too much coffee. This is why you can never say no to Phil.

"Half the kitchen staff just called out sick. I know it’s not what you’re trained for, but she’ll help you, ok? She’s really nice." He’s ushering you into the kitchen before you can ask who "she" is and closes the door behind you.

There’s gentle music playing over the sound system, a far cry from the usual chaos of the store. Someone’s humming distantly and you follow the sound of it, weaving around tables and ovens. A girl’s standing with her back to you, mixing something in a bowl.

"Um... hi! I’m Y/n, Phil called me in to help you today." You try not to squeak when she turns to face you and sends the biggest smile your way.

Her hair’s tied back, tucked under a bandana, though a few strands frame her face. Her glasses are slightly crooked and her sweater sleeves are pushed up to stay out of her way. She’s got a streak of flour on her cheek and you think she might be the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen.

"It’s nice to finally meet you!" She sounds so sweet as she beckons you over to the table. "I just need some help with the baking prep for tomorrow. Don’t worry, it’s not hard. I’ll help!"

She hands you a couple recipe cards and sends you off to find the ingredients. When you return, she takes the milk crate full of items from your grasp. Her hands brush yours and you can’t help but feel a bit dizzy at how soft her fingertips are.

The two of you chat idly and you get lost in the way she speaks. The way her hands move around the machinery and craft something out of nothing.

"Ok, so now that the dough's set, we have to knead it." She looks up at you and suddenly the bread is a far more interesting subject than her eyes.

You try to match her movements and knead the dough, but it sticks to your fingers like glue and won’t take form. Niki’s laugh captivates you and you’re glad she found your struggle funny. You smile along with her until she calms down.

She takes your hands in hers and directs them through the kneading process. Her voice is kind and delicate as she explains how much pressure to use and when to let it rest.

Her hands are still on yours and you look up to see her madly blushing before she pulls her hands away. She turns back to her own dough, trying to hide her face from you.

You’re sure you’re grinning like an idiot as you knead the bread. Niki clears her throat and gives you a nervous smile, holding out the baking tray for the loaves.

"Niki, you have something on your cheek." She wipes the wrong cheek and you giggle at the bewildered expression she wears.

"No, no, come here. I’ll help you get it." She steps close, fidgets with the hem of her apron and finally meets your eyes. She lets out a little hum when you brush the flour from the side of her face.

"Wanna have a picnic Y/n?" She smiles when you release her face, bobbing on her heels with energy. You nod and she grabs a slice of cake and a blanket.

The both of you sit outside, watching the farm hands bring the cows out of the barn. Niki’s humming again, to some song playing in her head. You share the cake and talk and laugh and you think maybe, just maybe, you should visit the kitchens more often.

taglist: @hunneiuwu @lous-blue @girlofthefandom @somethingsuperstupidsstuff @greatesthitz @cultof-medusa @mooncaffeine @lemonedbeetle @patchesofwork @junebug-isunavailable @cryptidcritter @paradigmax @soot-and-co @alovestruck-fool @onehellofaweeb13 @stayacarat @ladylapize @satellitesunshine @hanaamara @nonetookind @tinylillx @jhinx-it @h0p33e @flowerguywashere @olibv @daydreamerwriting @mayempress @kaii-jpeg @msbonink @kkusuxa @gifted-axolot

[andreabandrea]

@carlyraejepsans weaving us friendship bracelets and dancing around right now. soooo true. FINAGLC is the epitome of flowey mischaracterizations to me. that fic really annoyed me because it mischaracterizes not just flowey in an awful way, but papyrus as well. a lot of people seem very drawn to papyrus as this perfect woobie who needs to be protected by his brother instead of, like. an adult man who happens to be silly.

relatedly, sometimes i regret portraying papyrus as asexual in the holiday party fic, because i recall a friend telling me that they, as an autistic person, really see themselves in papyrus, but portraying him as aro/ace can read like i believe that autistic people cant maintain romantic or intimate relationships. i had good intentions, and its not exactly canon that papyrus is or isnt aro/ace (and i dont think its fair to judge him rejecting frisk as him being not interested in relationships-- they're a child, and he was just playing along w/ them to entertain them, there was never a consideration of them as a plausible partner in any way), but i dont want to rub anyone the wrong way. (there's several things i regret about the holiday party fic, honestly, but im really glad people still find joy in it.)

but anyway, i digress. i was going to say that, in general, i need to be honest-- while i miss getting a huge plethora of gorgeous fan art and remixes every single day, early fandom-era undertale was a bit hellish for me. everyone thought chara was a pure evil devil child and you literally had to use the tag 'soft chara' to talk about chara who ISNT the villain of undertale. im glad that this kind of thing has largely fallen out of favor and people have come to understand chara's role better in the no mercy route.

i remember a lot of fics like FINAGLC getting SUPER popular because people can struggle with media comprehension. sorry. like I remember one majorly popular fic that was all about saving Asriel from Chara's evil grasp and bringing him back post-pacifist that got super popular and people were like "Undertale is incomplete because you can't save Asriel" like. some things cant be undone!!! sometimes you just need to move on!!!! ok? ok <3 (and while i like floweypot AUs quite a bit too, i'll be honest, flowey choosing to stay behind in the underground and not play nice w/ all the monsters he tormented for so long is reflective of the player not being able to see the monsters on the surface either. you need to let them live their lives. you need to let go.)

i wonder if certain aspects of UTY like flowey existing at all in this time period or clover not being able to reset are less of a creative choice and more due to the fact that the game started development in ~2016, and this was before popular theories like narra chara and 'all the human souls could probably reset' and so on came into being. sorry to talk mean about UTY again. i promise i sincerely really do like parts of this game and im glad it exists and i'm impressed w/ the devs for finishing it. but i was thinking about this.

even though i'm talking down about people back in the height of the undertale fandom who didn't understand that flowey isn't evil and chara isn't evil, i will admit that there's most certainly things i didnt understand about undertale until later! everyone learns and grows. with that said, i still really dont like FINAGLC.

i think the thing about not understanding that flowey is an unreliable narrator and you shouldn't take his words at face value is that the first thing he tells you, "down here, it's kill or be killed", is pretty blatantly false. if you disbelieve that, why do you believe this traumatized child is a viciously evil killing machine?

[wclovewhatismortal]

I just binged Love What is Mortal in two days and I just want to say - you're an amazing writer, the way you were able to weave a story that not only fits into the warriors universe, but expands on things we'll probably never learn in canon in a way that makes sense (also it was definitely better written than any of the newer books, plz take over for the Erins) is amazing. I really hope we get more warriors content from you in the future!

I do have a couple of questions though if that's ok?

Generally speaking, what's the time frame of Love What is Mortal? If I recall correctly Leafpool mentioned the flooding from Bramblestar's Storm in one of the earlier chapters and it ends with Juniperkit and Dandelionkit meeting Hollyleaf so I'm guessing it ends right at the beginning of AVoS or a little before the beginning?

I feel like it was heavily hinted that Ashfur either went to the mortal realm and started the whole Bramble possession arc, or went to whatever exists outside of starclans itself (likely the place where Jake resides.) I did see in one of the asks you answered that Mudclaw would still be hunting Ashfur down, so I'm just curious if we'd ever get maybe a novella or a snippet of that scenario depending on where Ashfur went exactly? Or maybe if not a fic to read, would you be willing to explain what might have occurred?

The last thing I'll ask right now is about Patchkit and Larchkit, are they still with Appledusk? Or was Petalkit implying they faded away? I thought it was probable it was the former, but reading about how many kits get left without families or kin around because they are still waiting for closure or something that will help them move on, made me think perhaps those two were able to move on after spending time with their father whereas Petalkit chose not to stay with him.

Again, I really love your work!! You deserve a good break and some good food. Make sure to drink water and rest! Sorry if all these questions have been answered or are a bit much, feel free to not answer them if you don't want to!

You binged it in TWO DAYS? I'm impressed! LWIM is 226,638 words, which according to the website Wordcounter is the equivalent of 503 pages. You're freaking awesome!

Thank you for the nice words! LWIM really was a passion project for me. It's fun to take the afterlife of warrior cats and expand on it, seeing as it's so ripe with potential. I'm glad you enjoyed the story, and I'd be happy to answer your questions!

You're right as to the timing: it ends a little bit before the beginning of AVoS.

You might be wondering how Ashfur's shenanigans factor into that timeline. As of the end of LWIM, he escaped from Starclan. Now, he's out galavanting somewhere in the greater afterlife. Neither Sorreltail nor Mudclaw are particularly interested in letting him get away, but I think they'll meet some resistance from some of Starclan on that.

As for Ashfur, he's going to try to stir up trouble for Starclan. He knows what he wants to do, he just has to figure out how. In one of the latter chapters, he taunted to Hollyleaf about the plans he has for Squirrelflight and Bramblestar.

If I were to write a sequel or short story, it would probably take place not long after LWIM, and follow all the way through into TBC. Sorreltail would be the POV character, on a quest to track down her half-brother. Mudlcaw would undoubtably be involved, but as to what capacity, I'm not sure. If they can get along, a Mudclaw & Sorreltail dual-investigation might be fun. I think Sparrowfeather would make an appearance in this, as location-wise he would probably be somewhere in the broken remnants of the PONS.

You're right on the money with Patchkit and Larchkit. They stayed with Appledusk until they were able to make peace with their own lives and with what happened with Mapleshade. They have long since faded away. On the other hand, Petalkit disliked Appledusk so much that she ran away and never found closure with him or herself. She's not in a great place at the end of LWIM. For all intents and purposes, she feels abandoned by pretty much everyone: Mapleshade, for making reckless choices that bound her for an eternity to the PONS instead of Starclan; Appledusk, for his presumed infidelity and perceived lack of interest in being a parent to her in the mortal realm; Patchkit and Larchkit, for not agreeing with her revulsion of Appledusk and finding peace without her; and Snowfur, who she has a lot of mixed feelings for. THAT one is a whole can of worms that she'll have to sort through.

Now Petalkit is with Hollyleaf. It's what Mapleshade would've wanted: someone trustworthy watching over her.

Perhaps, Mapleshade wouldn't have had qualms with Sorreltail watching over her too, but that might be a little too painful for our calico protagonist. The death of Honeyfern is very fresh for her, and after all, she still has work to do.

Thank you SO much for reading my story, and for sending an ask!